Resa's Testimony.......
" Now I know I'm Saved "
On October 8, 1995, God saved me by His grace. I had spent years in religious activity—years doing what looked like the right things—but deep down, I knew something was wrong. That day, the Lord brought me from doubt to peace, from fear to faith, from death to life.
A Childhood Profession Without Transformation
I was ten years old the first time I said I was saved. I didn’t want to go to hell—I was scared—so I repeated a prayer. But there was no real repentance in my heart, and no true belief. Still, I said the words, so I thought I was okay.
As I got older, especially in my teenage years and early adult life, the doubts came often. I remember lying awake some nights, wondering if I was truly saved. But I’d always find a way to push the doubts aside and keep going.
When I married Mike, we moved to Japan as missionaries. For thirteen years we served there. And strangely, while we were overseas, those doubts didn’t bother me much. I was busy with ministry. I told people about Jesus. I taught, served, prayed, and read my Bible. But every so often, the fear would return—quiet and heavy. I’d feel unsettled, and somewhere deep inside, I knew I didn’t have peace. But I never faced it. I just kept going.
As I got older, especially in my teenage years and early adult life, the doubts came often. I remember lying awake some nights, wondering if I was truly saved. But I’d always find a way to push the doubts aside and keep going.
When I married Mike, we moved to Japan as missionaries. For thirteen years we served there. And strangely, while we were overseas, those doubts didn’t bother me much. I was busy with ministry. I told people about Jesus. I taught, served, prayed, and read my Bible. But every so often, the fear would return—quiet and heavy. I’d feel unsettled, and somewhere deep inside, I knew I didn’t have peace. But I never faced it. I just kept going.
The Letter That Opened My Eyes
We came back to the U.S. in May 1995. Being home again, surrounded by strong preaching and faithful believers. Something in me began to stir. My heart was restless. I started seeing clearly what I’d ignored for years.
Then, in July, our church received a letter from Heather Craft, a missionary’s wife in Mexico. She shared how she had made a profession of salvation, but later realized she had never truly believed. She wrote about the doubts she had carried—and then listed the signs that showed she did not have the Spirit of God living in her.
As I read her words, conviction pierced me. Her list felt like it had been written about me:
Two days later, we went to Kentucky for six weeks, and it was the most spiritually miserable time of my life. I was full of unrest. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t enjoy anything. But I still wouldn’t surrender.
Then, in July, our church received a letter from Heather Craft, a missionary’s wife in Mexico. She shared how she had made a profession of salvation, but later realized she had never truly believed. She wrote about the doubts she had carried—and then listed the signs that showed she did not have the Spirit of God living in her.
As I read her words, conviction pierced me. Her list felt like it had been written about me:
- She said she had fear. So did I.
- She had no peace. I didn’t either.
- She didn’t love the Word of God or prayer. Neither did I.
- She had never experienced the Lord’s discipline. I hadn’t either.
- Her life hadn’t been changed. And mine hadn’t been either.
Two days later, we went to Kentucky for six weeks, and it was the most spiritually miserable time of my life. I was full of unrest. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t enjoy anything. But I still wouldn’t surrender.
A Turning Point
In early September, we returned to Elgin, Illinois. I planned to talk to my dad about what I was going through, but I never got the courage. Then, from October 4th to the 8th, our church held revival meetings with evangelist Bro. Gordon Silcox.
Each night, he preached to believers about revival. But on Sunday morning, he preached a message for the lost. And the very first words out of his mouth were:
“If you don’t know you’re saved, then you’re not.”
That sentence went straight to my soul. It was like God had turned on the light in my heart. In that moment, I threw away the memory of my childhood profession. I finally admitted to myself—and to the Lord—that I wasn’t saved.
I listened intently to every word Bro. Silcox preached. He said salvation comes through the Word, through the Spirit, and through real belief—not emotion, not good works, and not religious performance. He was describing exactly what I had been missing.
When the invitation came, I stood frozen during the first verse. But as the second verse started, I stepped forward. I went to my dad and told him what was happening inside me. I didn’t care who saw me or what anyone thought. I just knew I needed peace.
Bro. Silcox and his wife spoke with me and read Scripture, but I still felt the weight of sorrow and conviction. He encouraged me to go home and read 1 John, and said he’d walk through it with me later.
Each night, he preached to believers about revival. But on Sunday morning, he preached a message for the lost. And the very first words out of his mouth were:
“If you don’t know you’re saved, then you’re not.”
That sentence went straight to my soul. It was like God had turned on the light in my heart. In that moment, I threw away the memory of my childhood profession. I finally admitted to myself—and to the Lord—that I wasn’t saved.
I listened intently to every word Bro. Silcox preached. He said salvation comes through the Word, through the Spirit, and through real belief—not emotion, not good works, and not religious performance. He was describing exactly what I had been missing.
When the invitation came, I stood frozen during the first verse. But as the second verse started, I stepped forward. I went to my dad and told him what was happening inside me. I didn’t care who saw me or what anyone thought. I just knew I needed peace.
Bro. Silcox and his wife spoke with me and read Scripture, but I still felt the weight of sorrow and conviction. He encouraged me to go home and read 1 John, and said he’d walk through it with me later.
Alone With God
That afternoon, Mike took our children out, and I was left alone in the house—just me and the Lord. My heart was pounding. I wanted so desperately to be saved.
I opened my Bible and began reading 1 John, then turned to John 3:1–18. When I got to verse 18, it leapt off the page:
“He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already...”
There it was. The reason I was condemned wasn’t because I hadn’t done enough—it was because I had never truly believed.
That day, in quiet faith, like a child, I believed. I didn’t repeat a prayer or work myself into an emotional moment. I simply trusted in Jesus—and in that instant, the Spirit of God moved into my heart.
Everything changed. I felt peace. I felt alive. My heart overflowed with joy and freedom. For the first time in 24 years, I knew—I was truly saved.
I opened my Bible and began reading 1 John, then turned to John 3:1–18. When I got to verse 18, it leapt off the page:
“He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already...”
There it was. The reason I was condemned wasn’t because I hadn’t done enough—it was because I had never truly believed.
That day, in quiet faith, like a child, I believed. I didn’t repeat a prayer or work myself into an emotional moment. I simply trusted in Jesus—and in that instant, the Spirit of God moved into my heart.
Everything changed. I felt peace. I felt alive. My heart overflowed with joy and freedom. For the first time in 24 years, I knew—I was truly saved.
A New Life in Christ
That day marked a new beginning. My heart now longs for God’s Word. I crave time in prayer. The doubts are gone. The fear is gone. And in its place is the deep, unshakable knowledge that I belong to Christ.
I used to feel uncomfortable when I heard someone say, “I know that I know I’m saved.” It made me cringe—because I didn’t know. But now, by God’s mercy, I can say with full assurance:
I know that I know I’m saved.
I’m not saved because of my past, my ministry work, or my good intentions. I’m saved because of Jesus—because He died for me, and I finally believed.
I used to feel uncomfortable when I heard someone say, “I know that I know I’m saved.” It made me cringe—because I didn’t know. But now, by God’s mercy, I can say with full assurance:
I know that I know I’m saved.
I’m not saved because of my past, my ministry work, or my good intentions. I’m saved because of Jesus—because He died for me, and I finally believed.
A Word to Others
If you’re wrestling with doubt, don’t ignore it. Don’t rely on a memory or an experience if it hasn’t brought true peace or transformation. Let God shine His light into your heart. He’s not looking for performance—He’s looking for repentance and faith.
It’s a strange thing to say that someone can spend 13 years as a missionary and not be saved—but that was me. We are not saved by our works. We are saved by grace through faith. God looks at the heart.
Now, I wake up every day grateful for His mercy. I want to tell the world what Jesus has done in me. There is nothing like the joy of knowing you belong to Him.
By His grace, I am ....For the first time in 24 years, I knew—I was truly saved!
That day marked a new beginning. My heart now longs for God’s Word. I crave time in prayer. The doubts are gone. The fear is gone. And in its place is the deep, unshakable knowledge that I belong to Christ.
I used to feel uncomfortable when I heard someone say, “I know that I know I’m saved.” It made me cringe—because I didn’t know. But now, by God’s mercy, I can say with full assurance:
I know that I know I’m saved.
I’m not saved because of my past, my ministry work, or my good intentions. I’m saved because of Jesus—because He died for me, and I finally believed.
.
By His grace, I am saved.
And now, I finally know it.
— Resa Bragdon
It’s a strange thing to say that someone can spend 13 years as a missionary and not be saved—but that was me. We are not saved by our works. We are saved by grace through faith. God looks at the heart.
Now, I wake up every day grateful for His mercy. I want to tell the world what Jesus has done in me. There is nothing like the joy of knowing you belong to Him.
By His grace, I am ....For the first time in 24 years, I knew—I was truly saved!
That day marked a new beginning. My heart now longs for God’s Word. I crave time in prayer. The doubts are gone. The fear is gone. And in its place is the deep, unshakable knowledge that I belong to Christ.
I used to feel uncomfortable when I heard someone say, “I know that I know I’m saved.” It made me cringe—because I didn’t know. But now, by God’s mercy, I can say with full assurance:
I know that I know I’m saved.
I’m not saved because of my past, my ministry work, or my good intentions. I’m saved because of Jesus—because He died for me, and I finally believed.
.
By His grace, I am saved.
And now, I finally know it.
— Resa Bragdon